Tintin's Diary

update post

2009-06-03T16:01:00.003+08:00

This post is purely to tell u guys that this blog is not dead.

Holidays! There are lots of work to do, and my greatest goal will be to finish them all (which i never had).

Enjoy, and jiayou everyone!

sorry people..

2009-05-22T20:10:00.002+08:00

Time passes and goes. So does people, if you don't cherish them.

Today i met Ms Cheong. It is so glad to hear her call me by my name, but at the same time i am very guilty when she says that she had not seen me for a long time.

Shit. How can i forget this lady who cared so much for me in Beijing? How can i simply let go of the memories of us walking together in several scenic parks, when we ignored the crowd and enjoyed the serenity?

And indeed, i believe i have not catch up with many people. So, sorry..

But i admit that i am not used to initiating chats. I find it hard to start a conversation. And i hate it when we run out of things to talk about. Such a chat is often meaningless and straining, isn't it?

Now back to school life..

Somehow it always takes me one year before i can be accustomed to my class. In Sec 1 and Sec 3, i believe i am very very introvert, although i still am, since it is my personality that is almost impossible to change. But i really enjoyed almost every minute in class, whether it is during lessons or breaks. During lessons, we would always have certain individuals to lighten up the atmosphere and i am very glad that they do so. During breaks, things become crazier. Just not long ago we still have an old tchoukball in our class and not surprisingly it is treated as a soccer ball. And when people started kicking the ball in a limited area accidents will happen. And sometimes when something funny is going on in the "soccer field" another would be happening elsewhere. Thus you can be confused over what to laugh about, or which side you want to join.

Term 2 almost over! Monday is IHE EOY, and i would simply memorise the notes and hopefully they will be put into good use in the exam. Then Tuesday it is rest day! Home learning day..hmm..i remember the last time when we did this (Sec2?) it seems that homework was not marked and the day was hardly a home learning day. Hopefully...ya...because i really wanted a break from studies.

So that's it.

1 more down

2009-05-06T20:39:00.002+08:00

Physics. Down.

Fri-maths
Tue-ihc
???-chem
sometime in week 9-bsp
week10 mon-ihe history

It doesn't look that bad does it? But it would be quite a struggle to force myself to give my best to every test; every time when one test is over i tend to have the fatal and stupid impression that everything is over.

If i am to correct this problem, i should be practising on my further trigo problems now.

And i will, now.

finally

2009-04-30T22:07:00.003+08:00

Everyone complains that my blog is SERIOUSLY DYING.

Last post during CNY? i think it's because AO has began its conquest of my time.

AO=Atlantica Online. Beware of addiction. But if you do play, pm tintinLEO and ask anything. Or email/msn me. lzy93-leo@hotmail.com

I had been finding excuses for not posting anything, but now i realised that it is so easy to crap things out. Perhaps i will be posting more often.

What is the purpose of blogging? What is YOUR purpose of blogging? Talk to a dead, virtual screen? Or hoping that someone will see your blog? Then why don't just talk to the person directly? Or is it MASS transmission of emotions and thoughts?

If i don't know my purpose probably subsequent posts will be as boring and unreadable as this. Ok, not really expecting any viewership, i can understand if u gave up hope on this blog which had its life drained away.

TEST WEEK nest week...JIAYOU ba. I hate regrets. Or everyone does. MUG more and no more wasting of time and AO-ing!!!

ok enough of talking-to-myself. sleep.

2009-02-01T16:05:00.002+08:00

The CNY holidays really ended very swiftly, because gaming really fast forwards time in at least 10x. I am already controlling my gaming time, though not as effectively as i would hope, since i have formulated that i am going to get rid of those panda eyes and tiredness. It would be impossible to stop playing at all, but diverting the energy to doing other things should work.

I do not have the habit of giving birthday presents, and sometimes i really regret it. Perhaps its because i lost contact with my primary school friends, and that most of my friends are male. I am not sure if it will seem weird to give a male friend a birthday present. Cakes of course are fine, but when it comes to a birthday card and present..i just don't know what to say.

What about female friends? I hardly have any, of course there is huiyee=) (i would rmb your birthday) Anyway i would have chances to make more friends in the jc. For now, i would give some presents for friends that really make an impact on me.

Just very boring, hence the sianz atmosphere in this post. Sorry guys. I just need to talk to someone, even if it is the net.

2009-01-22T19:21:00.002+08:00

I like running on the wet grass in the morning.

It's not the muddy wet, it's the refreshing wet of morning dew. Other than some relatively bare patches, the grass field is perfect.

Running barefooted somewhat makes one reminisces the childhood years. I don't actually have any particular memories of these kind, but the experience itself just seem to make you feel so carefree and elated, like something draggy and heavy was taken away. While it isn't very pleasant on the ankles (because the ground is too hard), it certainly is something that can well become a sort of hobby.

Having said so much, anyone interested? Haha, don't worry too much about the dirtiness. It is just that some grass will stick to your feet. Simply wash it, it's worth it.

One thing that i have to mention: it's early in the morning around 6.20am. oops. I can imagine your reaction =)

And it's the start of the CNY holidays! Woots! Although there are quite a load of homework to complete, a 5-day break still has extraordinary effects for the very very tired and weary student..haha.

I think i begin to like to be tired. At least when your muscles ache the bed will feel much more comfy and comfortable. Moreover, if you don't exercise at all you tend to feel more tired on the whole.

Ran out of things to say! Anyway there will be lots of chances to post. Happy CNY guys =)

2009-01-18T21:03:00.002+08:00

I dont want to be emo too.

Perhaps i am not emo now. Its just like a period of depression, and now things get better. Not that the problem is solved totally. Nor am i going to take the initiative to try things out, since that would hurt that person. Its just that i have decided to steer away from emo-ism and instead be a more positive and cheerful person.

I really want to thank you guys who have been caring for me all this while. Thanks alot.

I wonder what type of cheerful stuff can i write about. About CNY coming? Indeed there will be 5 days of holidays, BUT, with tons and tons of academic pressure-homework and tests. I guess i have to be really determined to do my work before gaming, otherwise the 5 days will be, well, fun but wasted.

Oh ya, it will soon be my sister's birthday! Hmm i wonder if she reads my blog, but hereby i still wish her a very happy birthday! Good luck for your new poly life! Haha its quite funny to say something to someone u see everyday, though.

To that someone: Your birthday is coming soon, but i really dont know what i can do for u. You will definitely feel that i am weird if i give u a birthday present or card, since we are only very normal friends. I guess i will celebrate your birthday through my blog then. Meanwhile, happy CNY and enjoy the holidays! Good luck for your coming tests as well (your term 1 tests should be around the corner le ba) =)

Ok happy ending! Dont complain that i am emo le, anyway you guys wont have to say that again=) Hope that i will have time to update regularly.

*self-assessment of this weekend: very poor, spent so much time on gaming!!!

2009-01-16T21:19:00.002+08:00

Now its been more than a week.

Sighs cant help it. There are just so many assignments to complete, that just being able to listen to some of my favourite music would already be great. And its not just the pile of homework that doesnt really become lesser, but also all those mixed, contradicting and difficult emotions, which only increase in weight everyday. I have been thinking so much that i begin to fear if i will go crazy one day. Theyre all problems that i may have over-exaggerated, but they are just so heavy.

Perhaps everyone needs that someone who are neither your family nor your friends. Or perhaps this is too young an age. Perhaps its not yet a matured mind. Perhaps you should not dwell over it. Perhaps its just not it.

Many a times that someone might not know. He or she might already be pursuing his or her own happiness. Sometimes you feel that you should avoid from thinking too much. Lets stay as friends.

What if that someone treats you a little bit, just a bit, more than a friend? What if... No, no, you cant. You tell yourself to give up on these wishful thoughts. And the battle between the two sides of the mind continues. In the end, you are the one who suffered the most.

Is there a way out? You dont know. Or you choose to be oblivious to the path which is just right in front of you. Or, its just too hard to say goodbye.

...

Ah...

This song, makes you think of that someone.

And now, you can barely control the pouring emotions.

2009-01-07T18:41:00.002+08:00

For a week i cant think of anything to write, I guess i am just getting sianz about the start of school.

Well this year's new teachers are a mixture of shocks and surprises. First, Mr Tan Hock Chye for Physics! I stunned for a while when i saw his name; so many ppl have been talking about how they dont understand his lessons, such that i sort of developed a phobia of him haha. And they say he is, ahem, very strict in giving ace and op. But it all turns out to be still ok. Yes his way of teaching is indeed 'special', and although he can finish going through a topic in 10+ slides it took me quite some effort to understand what it is all about. Or perhaps physics is just not easy to grasp. But at least he helps us in our practicals haha. So yup, lets see how things go.

Second, Ms Matthews for history! Yeah! You might be thinking that wa zhiyuan whats good about her but i really like her teaching style. She tells you exactly how the answer must be structured. She tells you what are the necessary keywords. She gives model answers. She give loads of practice, just to train us in our speed in writing and thinking. And, she can be humorous sometimes. I am rather dependent on teachers to tell me what to do, tell me the right things etc, hence i guess that why i'd like to have her as my history teacher.

Third, Mdm LiuQ for Chinese! Having been with her for quite some time in China, i am starting to know her better. Erm i am not quite sure about how others think of her, but i seriously think that she can be a effective, efficient and responsible teacher, other than being sarcastic and humorous (argh cant think of other adj for humorous). Hey not that i am 拍马屁-ing, its just personal opinions. Anyway i am stunned as well when she appoints me as the rep. Shall try to be a responsible rep =)

Fourth, Ms Lina Yong for english! I dont know how is she like although i know who she is. Hmm very pleasant, very kind as for now (we all dont know what someone is like when he or she gets really mad). A diagnostic exercise right on the first lesson, and it is to deliver a 2min speech! Argh i dont like speeches, as i get real nervous and even feel that i am shaking a lot. And i am not sure if i am loud enough. Most importantly, i have no confidence doing english. My vocab is so limited and my grammar is so out of place, and yet i am still so lazy to do anything about it. Will reading help? Sighs idk, just hope that she will help motivate me to improve my english haha.

Fifth, Mr Png for Maths? I am like who he is when i saw his name on the timetable. Then just on the first lesson he left a lasting impression on me. Funny, Crappy, No-link, but strict. It is impossible to not laugh in his lessons. I dont think i am very confortable with his style of teaching yet, haha i still prefer Ms Ang's way. Why cant she teach us? zzz...But anyway having no choice, i got to try my best getting used to this. One thing i cant tolerate about him: WHY MUST WE COPY DOWN EVERY QN WE DO!!! THIS IS WASTING TIME, WASTING INK, AND WASTING PAPER!!!

Sixth, Mr Vincent Tan for Chemistry...hmm...He is a good friend la, but when it comes to teaching...Based on the Beijing experience i dont quite understand what he teaches. Maybe he makes things more difficult and profound. I just hope chem wont be a disaster this year. 想当年when Mrs Sow teach us...she makes chem the easiest subject. Nvm, shall give both Mr Tan and I some time to get used to everything, should be of no problem. 高飞！haha, very random, but once i see him i will think of 高飞.

Seventh, Mr Paul Ho for IHC...again heard of many bad things about him, like always coming to class late and owing ppl ace. But they all say that he can teach. Well, havent seen him, lets see how things go for tmr's first lesson. And, see how late will he be...

Thats about all for this year's teachers. I never expected to write so much haha, at first i am still like so sianz and so bored. If you read until here i am really grateful for your patience=) But even if you dont i still thank you for reading a bit. Two homework to go, but since i still have some time..hehe, i will see la.

the start of the Long Pants Era

2008-12-31T13:51:00.002+08:00

This coming new year means a lot.

Not just the long pants, but also the important EOY that decides my fate in JC (?), and whether i can fulfil my goals.

Sighs the remaining half-month holiday will be over soon, and very sadly i spent most of my time gaming. Haha not maple private servers anymore, but a new online strategy game Atlantica. It is super addictive, hope i will control myself in the new year.

I think i am beginning to like reading blogs more. 读过陆畅和博翰的博客，实在很感人，让我想起我们十八罗汉在中国两个月的美好时光，无限缅怀。And Huiyee and Nelson and many other ppl's blogs, very 舒服to read your blog posts.

Seems like so many people are dedicating thanks to their best friends, but i really don't know how and who to thank. Although i guess u guys know who u are...i know i should write out thanks to specific people, perhaps in the coming posts. Now my mind is kinda blank, and there is still an immersion report to complete!! zzz

Regarding the "short stories" i wrote in the last two posts..pls don't worry about me or 想太多haha. It is not entirely an auto-biography, nor is it totally fictitious. Hopefully some of those emotions will be gone soon..ah 关于这个博翰最了解了哈哈。It is quite fun actually to write a short story based on part of your life and emotions, adding some fictitious events that erm, you hope will happen. But i am sorry if the story is very boring, anyway i am not very good in writing. Could not write anymore further, ha my imagination is limited.

Wishing everyone a happy new year! yea and the Long Pants Era has just started.

崇拜(二)

2008-12-29T20:08:00.001+08:00

一片片的，就像那些枯黄的枫叶。

　　秋风还在吹拂着，那些回忆和片段似乎还在远去。

　　真的远去了吗？

　　怎么也忘不了那带着些许睡意的温煦眼神、那自信的姿态和酷酷的神气。那偶尔的腼腆微笑。那温文尔雅的举止。可能真正远去的不是这些吧。

　　先前堆积在他脑袋里的一大团胶着的思绪，应该已经渐渐分解了。好不容易啊，这漫长的夜晚总算快要熬过去了。

　　看来真的不是赤诚的爱。Ａ曾想过，若Ｂ长得不这么迷人，他还会这么喜欢Ｂ吗。如果，就说如果，Ｂ是个丑八怪，但性格和神态都一样，一切还会是如此吗。答案好令人失望。

　　更何况，就算我不介意，人家的心，应该没有空位了。

　　还是认了吧。

　　这个念头一闪，睡意来袭，Ａ很舒服地躺下去。

　　也不知道睡了多久，只是闹铃应该响过了。

　　却一点也不着急，还一副从容不迫的样子。心头的包袱扔掉了，真有些轻飘飘的感觉。到了学校门口。
　　
　　“咦，才七点？不会吧？”

　　这么般慢吞吞的，A竟然还奇迹般的准时到学校。更令人难以相信的是，化学考试竟然也不太难，没几下子就全部做完了，还有闲工夫在铅笔盒上涂鸦。

　　简直就是雨过天晴了嘛。

　　考试一结束，Ｃ就迫不及待冲上前来，双眼闪烁着极为兴奋的的光芒。

　　“喂，到底是谁啊？”

　　“你猜啊，对错我都不说。”Ａ只是笑着回答。

　　“这算什么呀，兄弟之间难道还有不信任吗？”

　　“不是不信任，是再也不重要了。”

　　“啊？”Ｃ怔住了。“不重要？”

　　Ａ淡淡地一笑，也不再多说。

　　等巴士的当儿，突然传来熟悉的声音。

　　“啊。。。”Ａ的心扑通扑通地狂跳，那声响大得他深怕旁人听见。连脸颊都瞬间发烫了，现在应该很红吧。

　　“今天的考试还不算太难啦，啊，总算可以好好的休息了。”

　　咦，Ｂ今天也考试。哇，怎么连声音也能放电啊。他感觉有源源不断的电流在他全身上下游走，电得令人头晕目眩。

　　他不敢回头望，他害怕两人眼神只要交汇，他就会浑然不知所措。如果说Ｂ的声音释放出上千瓦的电，那Ｂ的眼神起码释放上百万、甚至上亿的电。

　　幸好Ｂ没发现他就上车了。在车子消失在尘埃之前，他看到Ｂ还是一脸酷酷的，不知心里在想些什么。可能什么也没想吧。

　　这样下去，不行啊。

　　Ａ又开始苦恼了。若每次碰面都这样，他还要脸红几次啊？要是给别人看到了呢，那就事迹败露了啊。再说，这也不是朋友之间的正常反应，倒是把Ｂ看做偶像了。

　　这一个深夜，秋风还是在窗外陪伴着Ａ，他还在尝试弄清楚那些事情。

　　“究竟怎么办才好呢？我好像都不敢面对Ｂ了。我应该弄清楚，我们是好朋友，不是偶想跟粉丝的关系，更不可能是什么情侣。。。哎呀，又说到哪里去了。总之，应该尝试从容面对。”

　　话说容易，但到底应该怎么做呢？

　　瞄了时钟一眼，哇，已经两点了。

　　再不睡啊，就要成为熊猫了，总还要顾一顾形象吧。船到桥头自然直，这件事，也不比太担心了，Ａ这么的想。

崇拜

2008-12-26T09:46:00.000+08:00

我活了　我爱了　我都不管了
心爱到疯了恨到算了就好了

可能的　可以的　真的可惜了

幸福好不容易　怎么你却不敢了

我还以为我们能不同于别人

我还以为不可能的不会不可能

你的姿态　你的青睐
我存在在你的存在
你以为爱就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜

风筝有风　海豚有海

我存在在我的存在

所以明白　所以离开

所以不再为爱而爱

自己存在在你之外

　　Ａ反复听了这首歌，觉得好似有些熟悉。

　　呃，难道，那只是崇拜？

　　但是，我这段日子真的好想念Ｂ啊！

　　“难道这就是爱？你确定愿意为人家付出一切？你肯定人家心里容得下你？”

　　想到这里，Ａ犹豫了。他再细细咀嚼了《崇拜》的歌词，反而比之前更乱。歌曲描述的故事其实也不是和自己的故事很相像。第一，他和Ｂ还没有“幸福好不容易”，暂时只是普通朋友关系。第二，人家可没有“挥霍了‘他’的崇拜”，倒是他自己心甘情愿付出的。第三，歌词的最后一段完全跟他没关系，都还没有谈恋爱何来分手。最后，他也不确定那是不是崇拜。。。

　　他幽幽地叹了口气，在床上翻来又覆去。一定得尝试寻找能证明他真心喜欢Ｂ的迹象，他这么想，便拿起电话打给了好朋友Ｃ。

　　“喂，呃Ｃ啊，你，你有空吗？”

　　“什么有空没空啊，现在是睡觉时间leh，啊。。。”Ｃ深深打了一个哈欠，“什么事啊，大少爷？”

　　“不要这样啦，我想问问你有关，有关。。。”

　　“喂，我先说明，不准问任何与化学有关的事，我已经快啃破所有的课本啦。”

　　“才不是啦，我有这么书呆吗？我。。。”Ａ吸了一口气，才继续说下去，“我是想问你有关感情的问题啦。”

　　有三秒钟双方都沉默不语。

　　“吓？什么？我不是Ｋ书到听不清楚了吧？一向如此deprived的Ａ竟然也会谈恋爱？哟，哟，这可是天下最大最惊人的消息啊！”

　　“喂喂喂，不要这么大声啦，我们还是朋友而已。”

　　“哦，那就是你一厢情愿了？Tsk tsk tsk，可怜啊，可怜。”

　　虽然不是面对面说话，但Ａ还是恨不得立刻找一个洞钻进去。“你很烦耶。呃，因为我必须先确定我对人家的爱是真心的。我问你啊情圣，崇拜，跟真心的喜欢，有什么区别啊？”

　　“唔，崇拜嘛，本人认为啊，就是你把对方当做偶像一样喜欢，可能你只是看上对方的外表，也可能你没这么肤浅，总之虽然你看到对方可能心跳加速，可能耳朵发烫，但是你只是让自己以为你很爱对方，因为崇拜过头了嘛，你只想拥有对方。至于真心喜欢，你应该知道是什么吧。”

　　“只想拥有对方？让自己以为很爱对方？呃。。。啊！好烦啊！没关系，多谢你啦，可以去睡了。”

　　“好，记住，那一些想太多的等太久的天生没市场。拜拜。”

　　“什么啦！咦，好像在哪里听过。。。哎，说到哪里了，我该怎么办啊？”

　　Ａ此刻忽然闪过好多念头，想到Ｂ那可爱迷人的微笑，想到Ｂ的每一个姿态，想到每次Ｂ出现，心跳就快得几乎不胜负荷，额头和耳后都被烫伤，还想到一开始和Ｂ的感觉。。。

　　“那。。。那时好像真的有一点点崇拜，可是，现在不一样了，现在，现在。。。”Ａ一片茫然。他苦思冥想，就是想不出以前和现在到底有什么不同。是想Ｂ的次数更频繁吗？是更想和Ｂ在一起吗？是更愿意牺牲一切和Ｂ在一起吗？

　　“你肯定人家心里容得下你？”

　　他的心突然一阵绞痛。

　　万籁俱静，偶尔才听见夜晚的秋风轻轻拂动着枯黄的枫叶。就连时钟好像也不再发出声响了。

　　Ａ坐在床上，呆呆的直视着前方，看着那些回忆、那些片段随着秋风远去。

and i am having routined holidays

2008-12-20T12:51:00.000+08:00

Haiz and indeed things are like that. Ok perhaps my holidays aren't routined, but plain boring. I don't go out to pool or arcade or shopping. Neither do i mug or game or simply keep myself occupied. It is just switch on my laptop and alternate between facebook and msn and blogging/bloghop. And perhaps go running or swimming when my body can take it. At night watch tv, and then it is sleep time. Then rewind. zzz

Sorry for posting an emo post last time. It is emo and perhaps cheem because i am sort of lost and despaired, maybe i'm thinking too much. It is in Chinese because i have limited English vocab. And i hope i won't have to write in that form anymore. *sighs*

At first i still want to keep my language formal, in hope that i can improve my English, but i think a few short forms shouldnt hurt. haha

haiz when school reopens it will worsen. I wont even have time to facebook or msn or blogging/bloghop. Argh. Or perhaps i will. Need to force myself to finish my homework asap, then can do all these things le. But i still cannot pool or arcade or shopping or mug or game, unless i learnt how to squeeze time.

Boring...

岔口

2008-12-18T17:14:00.000+08:00

若不能实现对自己许下的诺言
任意放纵自己一步步走向黑暗
会否走到路的尽头？

尝试找借口敷衍
却越来越不敢面对自己
难道定下的目标可以半途中打退堂鼓？
难道长这么大了都还没有自制力？
难道做人可以没有原则？

原则、原则。。。难道我真的已经迷失了自己
在这诡异丛生的道路上忘记了归途？

我遥望
前方清晰地出现两个岔路
左路崎岖不平、不见终点
诱惑着那好奇贪玩的小孩
右路干净平坦、阳光普照
邀请着那纯洁善良的心灵
我　站在岔口　似乎犹豫了

I'm back to blogging.=)

2008-12-16T15:44:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time. Perhaps some things really need to be penned down.

Where can i start? Ok, i just came back from a China immersion trip, now i am recharging myself at home. It was a great holiday, and i think this sort of overseas trips somehow make me more open. I had been very quiet and shy until secondary 2, when i 'met' my wonderful friends. Not that I have never met them before, but something that year just made me open myself to those friendships.

Speaking of my friends in 2I, i feel very guilty towards them. I have not really kept in contact with them, it's like i am so passive that i need someone else to initiate a conversation. It's the same with my primary school friends. I hope they are doing fine.

I know i need to change, and i know that takes time and determination. My friends, i am sorry for 'dao'ing you over the past few years or months. Perhaps if you have read to this point, you would like to spend a minute or two chatting with me; i would do the same if i see u online=)

Oh gosh this post is getting depressing. Gtg, bb.